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Funny Status About Bad Dreams Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Status About Bad Dreams" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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That awkward moment, when you're walking through the metal detector and your abs of steel set it off.
Unknown
436 Likes
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If you try to watch the movie Titanic backwards...it's actually about a magical boat that saves people.
Unknown
839 Likes
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I probably could stand a chance on American Idol if I could bring my shower on stage.
Unknown
479 Likes
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If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get to leave. Somebody make that a law, please.
Unknown
121 Likes
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Snooki is expecting her baby on December 21, 2012. I guess the Mayans knew what they were talking about...
Unknown
576 Likes
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Dear vending machines, I'm sorry if my dollar isn't straight enough for you. Sincerely, stop being so homophobic.
Unknown
662 Likes
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My Lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my Birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch."
Unknown
1197 Likes
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Let's promise we'll always stay close friends but ultimately settle for periodic glances at each other's Facebook status updates.
Unknown
27 Likes
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Mitt Romney should change his first name to Fetch, because he's never going to happen.
Unknown
113 Likes
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That awkward moment when a black kid asks you to pass the skin colored crayon.
Unknown
264 Likes
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Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Unless you wanna slam a revolving door, then that's not going to happen.
Unknown
198 Likes
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Boy: Why can't tampons talk? Girl: Because they're stuck up bi...es.
Dylan Nace
227 Likes
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Vodka-$19.99. Motel-$54.99. Condoms-$2.99. Finding Out She Swallows... PRICELESS!!!!! fu.. Visa, It Pays To Discover!!!!!
Unknown
706 Likes
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I haven't had this bad of a Monday since last Monday.
Unknown
68 Likes
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Boxed wine is made with broken dreams, regret, temporary insanity, torn hymens and bad decisions.
Unknown
29 Likes
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Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I win!
Unknown
1488 Likes
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I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that it's going to drop to zero tonight. The good news is that my air conditioner is working again!
Unknown
17 Likes
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Yeah I'm a bad person somedays I don't feel bad about it. I do more good than bad anyway when I wanna cut loose and offend some people.
Unknown
8 Likes
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It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
Walt Disney
51 Likes
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I don't understand those couples that fight and then a minute later change their Facebook status to 'Single.' I fight with my parents but you dont see me change my status to 'Orphan.'
Unknown
938 Likes
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