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Funny Status About Life Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Status About Life" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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These animal crackers are bullshit, this elephant tastes exactly like the giraffe did.
Unknown
593 Likes
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Sorry you're upset that three brutal murders by one of your players may impact your team's playoff chances.
Unknown
25 Likes
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Behind every great woman, there is a guy looking at her ass.
Unknown
573 Likes
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Let's all pretend we're shocked that a professional football player committed sociopathic violence.
Unknown
57 Likes
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Not to name names, but I know some of you update your status from your phone so it appears like you actually left the house. -Sent from my iPhone
Unknown
3034 Likes
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The Miami Heat playing the San Antonio Spurs is the only way I could ever root for anything from Texas.
Unknown
41 Likes
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I refuse to go bungee jumping, I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one.
Unknown
664 Likes
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I forgot Rihanna's ex-boyfriend's name...Then it hit me...
Unknown
750 Likes
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Rubix cubes are EASY....when you're color blind.
Unknown
358 Likes
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Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me.
Unknown
1083 Likes
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I don't want to hear you complain about the heat unless you are planning to take off all your clothes.
Unknown
80 Likes
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May you live to be as old as the number of Instagram pictures you took of your birthday cake.
Unknown
192 Likes
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The Energizer Bunny got arrested. He was charged with battery.
Unknown
275 Likes
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Google+ is the gym of social networking: We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
Unknown
502 Likes
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That awkward moment when Pinocchio and Voldemort meet.
Unknown
243 Likes
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I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
Unknown
3730 Likes
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I wonder if Buzz and Woody ever met some of Andy's mom's toys. Especially since they probably have the same names...
Unknown
524 Likes
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May your daily meltdown be less public, drug-addled, and cartoonishly insane than Amanda Bynes's.
Unknown
29 Likes
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If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive...take her to the gas station.
Seth Rogen
570 Likes
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My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks. So now I have to sit down when I pee.
Unknown
664 Likes
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