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Funny That Make His Day Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny That Make His Day" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I just broke my personal record of days without dying today.
Unknown
36 Likes
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Congratulations on still somehow not being a mother despite your astonishing s..ual promiscuity.
Unknown
35 Likes
Funny quotes
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Dad, thanks for dating someone older than me during your mid-life crisis.
Unknown
6 Likes
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Happy July 4th birthday to someone who looks much younger than America
Unknown
23 Likes
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You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.
Ethel Barrymore
31 Likes
Life quotes
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Mom, it's so great how much closer we've gotten since you started texting instead of calling.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Let's honor America with fireworks purchased from illegal immigrants
Unknown
20 Likes
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Let's proudly wave our American flags made in China.
Unknown
28 Likes
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Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
Seth MacFarlane
1 Likes
Nothing Steve Jobs ever created could fully replace you in my life.
Unknown
44 Likes
Valentines Day quotes
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Thanks for helping me resolve the childhood issues you caused.
Unknown
24 Likes
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I'm not an optimist but hopefully one day I will be.
Nikhil Saluja
90 Likes
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There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock.
Unknown
13 Likes
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You're the first boss I haven't wanted to push down a flight of stairs.
Unknown
12 Likes
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Just a reminder that fireworks look even more amazing when you're not constantly checking your iPhone.
Unknown
19 Likes
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The only advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
Unknown
108 Likes
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There are some days when I just don't feel like talking.. Today is that day.
Unknown
182 Likes
Funny Good Morning quotes
There should be a law that there's a pajama day every few weeks.
Alyson Hannigan
26 Likes
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I wish the resurrection of our lord and savior was deemed important enough for a day off work.
Unknown
27 Likes
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I will be solemnly honoring our military this weekend because no one invited me anywhere fun.
Unknown
6 Likes
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