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Funny Things To Put On Facebook Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Things To Put On Facebook" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
There is nothing as disgusting as the feeling you get the moment that your finger breaks through the toilet paper.
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305 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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If State Farm were such a good neighbor they'd come over and pick up all the dog shit in my yard.
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775 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Whats the worst thing to do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
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327 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Everyones middle name should be, motherfu..in...try it. Doesn't it sound so great?
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370 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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That Rebecca Black moment when you get on the bus & don't know which seat to take.
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368 Likes
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If you don't have an iPhone I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 Emojis & you can't see none.
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187 Likes
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I'm much more upset about Breaking Bad's shutdown than about the government's.
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107 Likes
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Okay, Seriously. Facebook isn't your psychologist. If your crying go get a tissue.
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127 Likes
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If you can't afford po.., just turn on women's tennis and shut your eyes...
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371 Likes
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On a scale from Kristen Stewart to Nicki Minaj, how many different facial expressions do you have?
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264 Likes
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When I kill a bug in my house, I leave the dead body around for a bit to warn the others.
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436 Likes
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Sorry your decision to quietly change your relationship status was broadcast to every single one of your Facebook friends.
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13 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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617 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
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2640 Likes
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I hate you but you were always there for me to not make me look ridiculous. I appreciate what you did for me. Thank You Auto-Correct.
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149 Likes
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Whenever I talk with someone who stutters...I yell 'REMIX!' so they feel cool and shit.
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142 Likes
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Chicken pot pie sounds like such a good idea. If you add commas.
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336 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I don't care what they say, the first guy who milked a cow and drank it was a massive pervert.
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883 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I hate it when I'm singing a song and someone joins in! Please, this isn't Glee!
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242 Likes
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Call of Duty: MW3 comes out midnight tonight. I wonder how many relationships are going to end this week.
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539 Likes
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