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Hit Mee Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Hit Mee Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.
Robert Collier
169 Likes
Jokes quotes
They mustn't know my despair, I can't let them see the wounds which they have caused, I couldn't bear their sympathy and their kind-hearted jokes, it would only make me want to scream all the more. If I talk, everyone thinks I'm showing off; when I'm.
Anne Frank
35 Likes
Jokes quotes
So finally, on about the fifteenth tee, I hit the drive of my life. And any of you people who play golf, you know the drive I'm talking about. The minute you hit it, you just drop your club. You hang on to the beer, let's don't get stupid. And I watch this ball just go and go and...kind of hit this guy in the head. And I felt bad, but he overreacted, I thought. I mean, it wasn't like a square hit; it just kind of glanced off his head. But he goes whippin' his car off the freeway, like 'here we go!' Mr. Attitude! So now, he's barreling down the fairway screaming at the top of his lungs, like 'what are you, some kind of cruddy golfer?' I'm like, 'hey, I hit you, didn't I? You were traveling sixty-five miles an hour. That's a pretty good shot in my book.'
Bill Engvall
10 Likes
I've been hit hard a few times, been hit really hard a few times, but I don't think I've ever left a memorable, lasting impression on anyone I've ever hit.
Steve Yzerman
7 Likes
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Jokes are always better than promises. Because jokes are half meant, while promises are half lies.
Unknown
52 Likes
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One of the standing jokes of Congress is that the new Congressman always spends the first week wondering how he got there and the rest of the time wondering how the other members got there.
Unknown
13 Likes
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My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up.
Nikhil Saluja
234 Likes
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Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
Robert Frost
170 Likes
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Who ever invented the Knock- Knock jokes should get a No-bell prize!
Unknown
202 Likes
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It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
St Thomas Aquinas
46 Likes
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Black and Mexican jokes are all the same. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
Unknown
252 Likes
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Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
Robert Frost
21 Likes
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How many of you have had a crush on a teacher? I mean, remember that Physics professor? Law One is so steamy, I'm getting worked up just thinking about it: Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it. Mee-yow.
Olivia Munn
7 Likes
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on thee and I'll forgive thy great big one on me.
Robert Frost
16 Likes
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Smith
532 Likes
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People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them.
Dolly Parton
35 Likes
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All it takes is 20 seconds of insane courage to change your life. - Benjamin Mee
We Bought A Zoo
23 Likes
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For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies
Laurence Sterne
8 Likes
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You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.
Benjamin Mee
10 Likes
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