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Humorous Monday Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Humorous Monday" sorted by relevance. 331 matching entries found.
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What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller
42 Likes
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I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready.
Unknown
143 Likes
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My favorite part of the holiday season is blaming my long-term weight gain on the holiday season.
Unknown
44 Likes
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I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Bernard Manning
86 Likes
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Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Unknown
71 Likes
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When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!
Hussein Nishah
270 Likes
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I wanted to send you something AMAZING for Christmas but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox...
Unknown
146 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to someone who doesn't care if I marry a man or a woman as long as I give you grandkids before you're dead.
Unknown
25 Likes
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This Christmas I've decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket....so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass.
Unknown
719 Likes
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I hadn't worked for a year when I had my Prison Break audition and it was the easiest audition I've ever had. I got the script on Friday, went to the audition on Monday and got the part on Tuesday. I was shooting the pilot a week later. I didn't have time to be nervous - it happened so quickly.
Wentworth Miller
40 Likes
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Good afternoon & god I hate Monday's.
Unknown
44 Likes
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Well, people got attatched. Once you cut the umbilical cord they attatched to the other things. Sight, sound, s.., money, mirages, mothers, mastur......, murder, and Monday morning hangovers.
Charles Bukowski
28 Likes
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I obviously take a lot of pride in what I do on the football field, because that has the ability to influence a lot of people. That puts smiles on people's faces. That gives people a pep in their step on Monday morning when they go back to work.
Drew Brees
26 Likes
Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) fu.. it. I'll buy my own shit.
Unknown
917 Likes
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I think we're seeing in working mothers a change from "Thank God it's Friday" to "Thank God it's Monday." If any working mother has not experienced that feeling, her children are not adolescent.
Ann Diehl
5 Likes
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
0 Likes
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I think we're seeing in working mothers a change from "Thank God it's Friday" to "Thank God it's Monday." If any working mother has not experienced that feeling, her children are not adolescent.
Ann Diehl
20 Likes
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We all need to start making some changes to how our families eat. Now, everyone loves a good Sunday dinner. Me included. And there's nothing wrong with that. The problem is when we eat Sunday dinner Monday through Saturday.
Michelle Obama
13 Likes
God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
William Bragg Sr
24 Likes
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As a kid, there are some things you looked forward to. You looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football.
Nick Ferguson
1 Likes
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