TOPIC
AUTHOR
Close
Search
Close
Search
Close
Search
Close
Search
EVENTS
MEMBERS
LOGIN
SIGN UP
Quotes
Topics
Pictures
Questions
Authors
Blog
About
Terms
Privacy
Sitemap
Get in Touch
Advertise
Removal Request
Subscribe
Contact Us
Social
Facebook
Instagram
Twitter
Pinterest
Close
Submit Quote
Latest Quotes
Browse our latest quotes
Topic List
Categorized list of quote topics
Famous Authors
Alphabetical list of influential authors
Picture Quotes
Custom and user added quotes with pictures
Quotes
Questions
Submit Quote
Jack Handy Uncle Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Jack Handy Uncle" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
Related Topics
Funny Facebook Status
Grammar
Interesting
Funny
Jokes
Love
Thinking
Boxing
Laughter
Opera
Death
Money
Relationships
Richness
Animals
Weakness
Weapons
Cowardice
Danger
Show more
Angels
Drink
Books
Women
Ambition
Age
Golf
Hate The Incompetence
Funny
Guys
Redneck Girl
Famous Love
Writing
Life
Justification
God
Religion
Dogma
Dumb
Celebrity
Television
Dysfunctional Family
Girly Twitter Bios
Men And Women
Advice
Press
God
Education
Taxes
QUOTES
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights,even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
Jack Handy
7 Likes
Love quotes
Sponsored Links
To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, Hey, can you give me a hand? You can say, Sorry, got these sacks
Jack Handy
11 Likes
Love quotes
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
Jack Handy
18 Likes
Love quotes
I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so innocent. but I know that secretly, they're watching my every move and plotting to beat me over the head with a large steel pipe and take my shoe.
Jack Handy
25 Likes
Animals quotes
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness
Jack Handy
17 Likes
Weakness quotes
Sponsored Links
Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.
Jack Handy
25 Likes
Love quotes
Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.
Jack Handy
6 Likes
Love quotes
I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could really use used ice picks.
Jack Handy
5 Likes
Money quotes
Weapons quotes
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.
Jack Handy
19 Likes
Cowardice quotes
Danger quotes
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.
Jack Handy
16 Likes
Danger quotes
Cowardice quotes
Sponsored Links
I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, Yahoo!, I'd have all my money back.
Jack Handy
12 Likes
Money quotes
Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.
Jack Handy
16 Likes
Love quotes
It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money. - Deep Thoughts ( Saturday Night Live).
Jack Handy
18 Likes
Money quotes
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
Jack Handy
13 Likes
Love quotes
But met this knucklehead, thought he want a order, Came and asked me stop pitching to his daughter, Tell me it's the man, can't be, Be glad I'm not in her damn panties, Got her damn handy, How you going to ever ask stop carrying candy, I'm going to sell to anybody in your damn family, Your Uncle Tom, your Aunt Tammy, your Grandmammy, Your right hand man Randy, understand me, in Atlanta I got an outlandish land piece and a matching land, Desert Calasandi.
Camron
32 Likes
Sponsored Links
It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, an angel gets set on fire.
Jack Handy
15 Likes
Funny quotes
Angels quotes
The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and saw skulls and bones everywhere. Uh-oh, he thought. This watering hole is reserved for skeletons.
Jack Handy
12 Likes
Drink quotes
Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books.
Jack Handy
7 Likes
Books quotes
Uncle Rico: Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile. Kip: Are you serious? Uncle Rico: I'm dead serious.
Napoleon Dynamite
0 Likes
Uncle Rico: Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile. Kip: Are you serious? Uncle Rico: I'm dead serious.
Napoleon Dynamite
2 Likes
1
2
3
4
5
...
25
TRENDING
TRENDING TOPICS
May 08
Bad Breakup
Breakup
Conquest
Discrimination
Famous
Funny
Grace
Hard Work
Husband
Inspirational
Inspiring
Marxism
Men And Women
Military Wife
Moon
Moving Forward
Moving On
Needs
Real Woman
Sister
ABOUT
Terms
Privacy Policy
Removal Request
Sitemap
Contact Us
OUR GOAL
Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life.
© 2024 SearchQuotes™