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Married Couples Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Married Couples Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
More than 1.1 million taxpayers in Pennsylvania will enjoy a lower tax rate, more than 1.4 million married couples will benefit from the reduction in the marriage penalty, and more than 1.1 million parents will have the advantage of an increased child tax credit.
Tim Murphy
2 Likes
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Here's to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for not making anyone else be married to them.
Unknown
240 Likes
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It used to be that you came out of school, and you got married - those who were going to get married. But my peers are getting married in their early 30s, so now there's like this extra 10 years of that angst.
Zach Braff
43 Likes
I'm more married to Sandy now than when we were married with the legal document. We're still married as parents.
Bobby Darin
0 Likes
And in a marriage you can't TRY and be married. You're married or you're not married... as far as I'm concerned.
Ringo Starr
3 Likes
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Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swim next time, OK Jerry?
Denis Leary
27 Likes
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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Unknown
14 Likes
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
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I married Miss Right. I just didnt know her first name was Always.
Unknown
26 Likes
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Sorry even your gay friends will now be getting married before you.
Unknown
21 Likes
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When you're single, all you see are happy couples. When you're committed, all you see are happy singles.
Unknown
606 Likes
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Married people are fatter on average anyway.
Unknown
5 Likes
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It's funny that until I actually met my husband, I never thought I'd get married.
Regina King
7 Likes
Getting married last lowers your chances of getting divorced first.
Unknown
12 Likes
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I've slept with enough married men to know that matrimony is not for me.
Unknown
8 Likes
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
15 Likes
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A man in love is incomplete until he has married, then he is finished.
Unknown
14 Likes
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
23 Likes
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Being married should free up your time to find me a husband.
Unknown
3 Likes
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I dont worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
Unknown
7 Likes
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