TOPIC
AUTHOR
Close
Search
Close
Search
Close
Search
Close
Search
EVENTS
MEMBERS
LOGIN
SIGN UP
Quotes
Topics
Pictures
Questions
Authors
Blog
About
Terms
Privacy
Sitemap
Get in Touch
Advertise
Removal Request
Subscribe
Contact Us
Social
Facebook
Instagram
Twitter
Pinterest
Close
Submit Quote
Latest Quotes
Browse our latest quotes
Topic List
Categorized list of quote topics
Famous Authors
Alphabetical list of influential authors
Picture Quotes
Custom and user added quotes with pictures
Quotes
Questions
Submit Quote
Match Hedberg Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Match Hedberg" sorted by relevance. 420 matching entries found.
Related Topics
Music
Mystery
Universe
Television
Pride
Arrogant
Advice
Power
Time
Life Lesson
Words Of Wisdom
Mind
Compassion
Persuasion
Goals
Motivation
Girlfriends
Funny
Happy
Show more
Women
Funny
Friends With Benefits
Senses
Inspirational
Life
Life Lesson
Being A Good Person
Letters
Money
Plants
Life
Soccer
Comedy
Silly
Food
Dancing
Mean
Insult
Acting
Actor
Arguments
Relationships
Friends
Laziness
Talking
Zodiac
Action
Deed
QUOTES
Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
Sponsored Links
If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
Mitch Hedberg
2 Likes
I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.
Mitch Hedberg
4 Likes
I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.
Mitch Hedberg
2 Likes
Sponsored Links
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
Mitch Hedberg
2 Likes
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
Mitch Hedberg
24 Likes
Funny quotes
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Mitch Hedberg
100 Likes
Friends With Benefits quotes
Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.
Mitch Hedberg
11 Likes
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
Sponsored Links
I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
Mitch Hedberg
28 Likes
I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
Mitch Hedberg
6 Likes
If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
Mitch Hedberg
2 Likes
I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other way to take it in. 'You're not special. That's how I receive it too... I tried to taste it, but it did not work.'
Mitch Hedberg
9 Likes
Sponsored Links
I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other way to take it in. 'You're not special. That's how I receive it too... I tried to taste it, but it did not work.'
Mitch Hedberg
8 Likes
Senses quotes
When a BIRD is alive, it eats ants...when the bird is dead, ants eat the bird! Time and circumstances can change at any time...Lets not devalue or hurt anyone in Life...We may be powerful today...But remember, TIME is more powerful, one tree makes a million match sticks.. But when time comes....only one match stick is needed to burn a million trees...lets be good and do good earthlings.
Unknown
74 Likes
Inspirational quotes
Life quotes
Life Lesson quotes
Being A Good Person quotes
I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen. But he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.
Mitch Hedberg
5 Likes
Letters quotes
I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
Mitch Hedberg
63 Likes
Funny quotes
I saw some two-dollar bills today - They were for sale for eight dollars. Something went severely wrong there. What happened? It spun out of control... Now it's worth eight, still says two. I miss the two. I could break a two.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
Money quotes
1
2
3
4
5
6
...
21
TRENDING
TRENDING TOPICS
May 04
Bad Karma
Beautiful Christmas
Behavior
Being Annoyed
Being Busy
Being Confused
Being Depressed
Being Kind
Being Perfect
Being Thankful
Being The Bigger Person
Being Used
Being Who You Are
Being Wrong
Bitterness
Body
Books
Boys
Life
Relationship With God
ABOUT
Terms
Privacy Policy
Removal Request
Sitemap
Contact Us
OUR GOAL
Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life.
© 2024 SearchQuotes™