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Once Upon A Time Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Once Upon A Time Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
Bob Hope
21 Likes
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The problem with loving is that pets don't last long enough and people last too long.
Aeschylus
24 Likes
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There's a time for everything-- a time to LOVE and a time to HATE. A time to FIGHT & a time to let GO.
Mhargs Abuda
45 Likes
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The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life.
Seann William Scott
11 Likes
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny...�
Issac Asimov
1381 Likes
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They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Casey Stengel
0 Likes
I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!
Ash Sweeney
585 Likes
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Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands.
Unknown
984 Likes
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Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.
Florenz Ziegfeld
1 Likes
Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can't retire his experience. He must use it. Experience achieves more with less energy and time.
Bernard M Baruch
6 Likes
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On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bi...es, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new po.. websites, 8 wack statuses, 7 ho.. a slurping, 6 bums a posting, 5 ignorant bastards, 4 corny birds, 3 messages, 2 ugly friends, & a girl who smashed the wholeee team.
Unknown
560 Likes
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Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.
Bob Ettinger
19 Likes
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Before a clock was in the tower, Or e'er a watch was worn; I knew of night the passing hour, And prophesied the morn; To man of every age and clime, The oldest chronicler of time.
John Banister Tabb
7 Likes
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Christmas: The only time of the year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.
Rick Sutter
63 Likes
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Life is too short to waste time on matching socks.
Unknown
136 Likes
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Friendship Day is the perfect time to thank you for lending me money and to see if I can borrow more.
Unknown
17 Likes
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s..: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
John Barrymore
315 Likes
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Every time I have a good workout the day before, I somehow think it's acceptable to eat a cheeseburger and fries the next day.
Unknown
79 Likes
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I run around my house naked with heels all the time. It's so funny. All my friends will tell you I love running around in kimonos and jewelry, or naked with jewelry.
Mary-Kate Olsen
3 Likes
When entering into a marriage one ought to ask oneself: do you believe you are going to enjoy talking with this woman up into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory, but most of the time you are together will be devoted to conversation.
Friedrich Nietzsche
6 Likes
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