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Short Funny Drunk Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Short Funny Drunk Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
Robert Paul
2280 Likes
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I don't get why gyms have mirrors...I know what I look like. That's why I'm there.
Unknown
122 Likes
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Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Ron Alderson
69 Likes
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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
11 Likes
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People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
Hussein Nishah
303 Likes
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Drinking and driving: there are stupider things, but it's a very short list.
Unknown
34 Likes
Drunk Driving quotes
Life is too short to waste time on matching socks.
Unknown
136 Likes
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
Wanda Sykes
0 Likes
I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.
Unknown
13 Likes
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An alcoholic is someone you dont like who drinks as much as you do.
Unknown
15 Likes
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I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.
George Gobel
20 Likes
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I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.
Martin Short
14 Likes
3 men were drunk,they stopped a taxi.The taxi driver figured that they were drunk,he just switched on the engine & switched it off & told them, 'we ve arrived'.The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks, but the 3rd guy slapped him.The taxi driver was stunned coz he was hoping that none of them must ve realized that the car didn't move an inch.So he asked,what was that for? Control ur speed next time,u almost killed us.
Unknown
26 Likes
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A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Unknown
18 Likes
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Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholics best friend !!!!
Unknown
10 Likes
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If swimming is such a good way to stay in shape; Explain whales...
Unknown
175 Likes
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At the gym Boy doing sit-ups: '1...2...3...' Hot girl walks by Boy: '97...98...99...'
Unknown
193 Likes
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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Unknown
2332 Likes
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
Funny quotes
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People may think he's not perfect but in my mind he's beyond perfect when you're able to look into his eyes and see the real him. Having his arms wrapped around you because he cares more about you than anything, the way he says I love you and those cute little inside jokes nobody else would understand the way he giggles at your jokes even when they aren't even funny or the way he talks about you to his friends it makes you realize how much he means to you. His flaws make him perfect and when I'm around him I feel like everything's okay again and he's the solution to all my problems.
Unknown
564 Likes
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