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Witty Statements Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Witty Statements" sorted by relevance. 497 matching entries found.
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Im going to reveal the two secrets of my success: One; Dont reveal everything.
Unknown
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Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Unknown
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A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
Unknown
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War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
Unknown
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Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
Albert Einstein
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Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.
Unknown
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What's the point of a high school reunion? I have Facebook. I already know you got fat.
Unknown
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Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
Unknown
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Am I on facebook because I'm bored, or am bored because I'm on facebook?
Unknown
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When I tweet, I tweet to kill.
Unknown
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The point is that descriptive writing is very rarely entirely accurate and during the reign of Olaf Quimby II as Patrician of Ankh-Morpork some legislation was passed in a determined attempt to put a stop to this sort of thing and introduce some honesty to reporting. Thus, if a legend told of a notable hero that all men spoke of his prowess any bard who valued his life would hastily add except for a couple of people in his home village who thought he was a loony, and quite a lot of other people who had never really heard of him. Poetic simile was strictly limited to statements like: His mighty steed was fast as the wind, on a fairly calm day, say about Force Three, any loose talk about a beloved having a face that could launch a thousand ships would have to be backed by evidence that the object of desire did indeed own a very large seaport. Patrician Olaf II was eventually killed during an experiment conducted in the palace grounds to prove the disputed accuracy of the proverb The Pen
Terry Pratchett
7 Likes
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I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
Unknown
1851 Likes
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Forget the past cause you can't change it...and forget the present...cause I didn't get you one.
Drake
305 Likes
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When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a friends Facebook account: 'I LOVE D*CK IN MY MOUTH!'
Unknown
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Welcome to Facebook: Where ho.. call out ho.. when they should be calling out themselves, where people claim their real when really their faker then Pamela Anderson's boobies, where lame a.. dudes talk about how their balling and got money to blow but really they can't even afford a mcdouble from McDonald's and their living with their parents on the down low, where people post pics of food claiming they made it when they know damn well it's just a tv dinner, where chicks post pics wearing almost nothing trying to get as many likes as they can and they call guys desperate when their the ones looking desperate in the first place! It's more like welcome to drama-Fakebook
Bryan Burden
761 Likes
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JESTER, n. An officer formerly attached to a king's household, whose business it was to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances, the absurdity being attested by his motley costume. The king himself being attired with dignity, it took the world some centuries to discover that his own conduct and decrees were sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of all mankind. The jester was commonly called a fool, but the poets and romancers have ever delighted to represent him as a singularly wise and witty person. In the circus of to-day the melancholy ghost of the court fool effects the dejection of humbler audiences with the same jests wherewith in life he gloomed the marble hall, panged the patrician sense of humor and tapped the tank of royal tears. The widow-queen of Portugal Had an audacious jester Who entered the confessional Disguised, and there confessed her. Father, she said, thine ear bend down -- My sins are more than scarlet: I love my foo
Ambrose Bierce
15 Likes
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The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C. WredeBook I. Dealing with DragonsBook II. Searching for DragonsBook III. Calling on DragonsBook IV. Talking to DragonsCimorene is not your oanidrry princess. She hates embroidery, etiquette and dancing lessons. She'd rather learn magic and how to run a kingdom. Rather than being forced to marry a vapid prince, Cimorene runs away to work for a dragon.Lots of dragons have princesses sometimes kings and queens arrange for a dragon to kidnap their daughter so that a brave prince will rescue and marry her. Cimorene isn't into that, she works for the dragon Kazul and when princes try to rescue her she sends them away. Quickly Cimorene becomes indispensable to the dragons, thwarting an evil plot by wizards along with a fantastic cast of characters: Morwen, a not-your-oanidrry-witch; a prince turned to stone; Alienora, a less-silly-than-usual-princess, not to mention a host of dragons. In the later books, Cimorene assists the now-King Kazul ( King is the title of the job whether held by a male or female dragon), collaborates with the newly throned King Mendanbar of the Enchanted Forest, a fire-wizard, a giant rabbit named Killer enchanted as a floating, winged, blue donkey, in a never-ending battle with the wizards. In the last book, Cimorene's son Daystar, not realizing his heritage, enters a quest to rescue King Mendanbar from a spell.These books are among my life-long favorites. While listed as Young Adult, younger readers will also find much to enjoy in the witty writing, exciting plots, and strong, unorthodox characters.
Vuong
10 Likes
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