Dwight Schrute Quotes

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 Dwight Schrute quotes 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
Suggest Revision: I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then, my life was so great that I literally wanted a second one. Absolutely everything was the sameexcept I could fly.
 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
Suggest Revision: Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up I performed my own circumcision.
 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
Suggest Revision: I am not a security threat, and my middle name is Kurt, not Fart.
 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
Suggest Revision: A 30-year mortgage at Michaels age essentially means that hes buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldnt hear the other dead people.
 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
Suggest Revision: I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War Two veteran killed twenty men and spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.
 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
Suggest Revision: Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of Oklahoma! in the 7th grade. I played the part of Mutey the Mailman. They had too many kids so they made up roles like that. I was good.
 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
Suggest Revision: Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.
 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
Suggest Revision: I like the people that I work with, generally. With four exceptions. And I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriffs deputy to make friends. And by the way, I havent.
 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
Suggest Revision: He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious smoky rich flavor. Plus, you can use the molten goose grease and save it in the refrigerator, thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease.
 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
 Dwight Schrute quotes 
Suggest Revision: As a farmer I know that when an animal is sick sometimes the right thing to do is put it out of its misery. With the electricity we are using to keep Meredith alive we could power a small fan for two days. You tell me whats unethical.
 
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