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Funny Get Your Day Started Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Get Your Day Started" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
If you're sad about being alone on Valentines Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.
Azgraybebly Joslan
1014 Likes
Valentines Day quotes
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It was between the ages of 14 and 20 and I started off not eating at all, maybe an apple a day.
Torrie Wilson
1 Likes
May your Boss's Day consist of terrified employees awkwardly lavishing you with gifts they can barely afford.
Unknown
5 Likes
Funny quotes
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Start the day off right...On the toilet...Shitting out yesterday's bullshit getting ready to digest today.
Marlon Wayans
65 Likes
Funny quotes
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Well, when I was younger, in high school, I started out smoking pot. Which escalated into taking acid on a regular basis, which escalated into selling acid. And then I started, when I went to college, I started doing opiates.
John Wozniak
1 Likes
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I smile because you're my Mother. I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it. Happy Mom's Day!
Unknown
245 Likes
Mothers Day quotes
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Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.
David Letterman
106 Likes
Funny quotes
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I carry a magnum size condom in my purse like a modern day glass slipper. Some day my prince will come.
Unknown
412 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Im choosing my words carefully cause Im sure, when it comes to being naked with Jennifer Aniston, they will be printed. But, believe it or not, it was just really silly, fun, funny and entertaining, at the end of the day.
Charlie Day
261 Likes
Not to this extent but from day one I had an awful lot of confidence when I got started.
George Thorogood
1 Likes
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I'm honoring you this Boss's Day by spending only half my workday on email, social media, dating sites, and po..ography.
Unknown
6 Likes
Funny quotes
Bosses Day quotes
Those special people who believe in others give them the courage to succeed. It really means a lot to work with someone who's so understanding & supportive. Have a Great Day
Unknown
15 Likes
Funny quotes
Bosses Day quotes
Ever have that one friend who gets a Valentine's Day gift for their mother? Doens't that freak you out a little? It's like, 'I don't know how to break this to you but I think she's banging your dad!
Russ Meneve
64 Likes
Funny quotes
Valentines Day quotes
Happy Mother's Day to someone who deserves a much better Mother's Day than I'm capable of pulling off without her help.
Unknown
29 Likes
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I gotta tell you, right at the top of my list would be taking vitamins. I know that over the years doctors have said they're ridiculous and all that. But I started taking my vitamins at an early age. And I take them every day. Every bloody day! So I think that's number one. For whatever reason, I feel active and pretty good at my age.
Regis Philbin
0 Likes
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I think when I was very young and I suddenly started earning a bit of money and I could actually afford to buy sho.., I got very excited and bought a lot. I mean a lot! I havent bought any in quite a while. Now I just rent them for the day. They give them to me for the day and I give them back in the evening, which is good.
Keira Knightley
1 Likes
There is no sign of stability. It started out as not such a bad day but then stocks just got hammered,
Tom Green
1 Likes
If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started.
Anon
5 Likes
Funny quotes
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For April Fools Day, I think Facebook should switch the search box and the status update box around. So people would post updates on who they stalk.
Unknown
6546 Likes
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Since today is Valentine's day, I was wondering if you'd like to go back to MySpace, so I can Twitter with your Yahoo, until I Google all over your Facebook and we can Instagram our date... ;) Happy Valentine's Day, Everyone!!
Unknown
495 Likes
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