Inappropriate Funny Quotes

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Total: 7006 Quotes
 Bill Maher quotes 
 Funny quotes   Fire quotes 
Suggest Revision: Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit
 
 Unknown quotes 
 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: God's last name is not Dammit.
 
 Proverb quotes 
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Suggest Revision: One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world
 
 Robert Brault quotes 
 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead
 
 Unknown quotes 
 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn't expect to be paid back
 
 Groucho Marx quotes 
 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
 
 Josh Billings quotes 
 Funny quotes   Dog Lover quotes 
Suggest Revision: A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
 
 Erma Bombeck quotes 
 Funny quotes   Dieting quotes 
Suggest Revision: A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
 
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Suggest Revision: A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
 
 Groucho Marx quotes 
 Funny quotes   Bed quotes 
Suggest Revision: A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
 
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