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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
Victor Borge
25 Likes
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What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller
42 Likes
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We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give
Winston Churchill
59 Likes
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Let us keep Christmas beautiful without a thought of greed, that it might live forevermore to fill our every need, that it shall not be just a day, but last a lifetime through, the miracle of Christmas time that brings God close to you.
Ann Schultz
26 Likes
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I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready.
Unknown
143 Likes
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I love America because America trusts me. When I go into a shop to buy a pair of sho.. I am not asked to produce my Identity Card. I love it because my mail is not censored. My phone is not tapped. My conversation with friends is not reported to the secret police.
Janina Atkins
205 Likes
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My favorite part of the holiday season is blaming my long-term weight gain on the holiday season.
Unknown
44 Likes
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Less than 8 percent of private sector workers belonged to a union in 2004, and, overall, only 12.5 percent of American workers carry a union card - down from about one-third of workers in labor's heydays in the 1950s.
Linda Chavez
0 Likes
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Bernard Manning
86 Likes
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When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!
Hussein Nishah
270 Likes
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Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Unknown
71 Likes
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I wanted to send you something AMAZING for Christmas but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox...
Unknown
146 Likes
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This Christmas I've decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket....so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass.
Unknown
719 Likes
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I fell into playwriting accidentally, took some classes in it, and also took creative writing classes, but I really didn't expect it to be a career because I didn't believe there was a way to make money as a playwright without being lucky and I didn't feel particularly lucky.
Orson Scott Card
1 Likes
The day I get a credit card with a negative real interest rate is the day we can compare government debt to household debt.
Unknown
8 Likes
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We humans do, when the cause is sufficient, spend our lives. We throw ourselves onto the grenade to save our buddies in the foxhole. We rise out of the trenches and charge the entreched enemy and die like maggots under a blowtorch. We strap bombs on our bodies and blow ourselves up in the midst of our enemies. We are, when the cause is sufficient, insane.
Orson Scott Card
76 Likes
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We humans do, when the cause is sufficient, spend our lives. We throw ourselves onto the grenade to save our buddies in the foxhole. We rise out of the trenches and charge the entreched enemy and die like maggots under a blowtorch. We strap bombs on our bodies and blow ourselves up in the midst of our enemies. We are, when the cause is sufficient, insane.
Orson Scott Card
7 Likes
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Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
Norman Vincent Peale
71 Likes
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Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) fu.. it. I'll buy my own shit.
Unknown
917 Likes
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A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun? Now how does this work? What's the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he's got your gun too!
Jay Leno
29 Likes
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