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Erma Bombeck Familyombeck Family Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Erma Bombeck Familyombeck Family" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if anybody's home.
Erma Bombeck
13 Likes
Food quotes
Children quotes
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In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
Television quotes
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
Erma Bombeck
6 Likes
Football quotes
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
Erma Bombeck
18 Likes
Motherhood quotes
Compassion quotes
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
Erma Bombeck
13 Likes
Success quotes
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There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!
Erma Bombeck
8 Likes
Wisdom quotes
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
17 Likes
Football quotes
Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.
Erma Bombeck
7 Likes
Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
Gossip quotes
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Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, No, thank you, to dessert that night. And for what!
Erma Bombeck
9 Likes
Women quotes
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
Erma Bombeck
26 Likes
Knowledge quotes
When your mother asks, Do you want a piece of advice? it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck
25 Likes
Advice quotes
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
Erma Bombeck
15 Likes
Books quotes
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
Erma Bombeck
8 Likes
Housework quotes
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I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up.
Erma Bombeck
11 Likes
Mind quotes
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned, it's full of surprises.
Erma Bombeck
4 Likes
Humor quotes
Spontaneity quotes
Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.
Erma Bombeck
7 Likes
Age quotes
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
Drink quotes
God created man, but I could do better.
Erma Bombeck
6 Likes
God quotes
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