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Facebook Status For My Birthday Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Facebook Status For My Birthday" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Congratulations on buying a car that will go 0-60 in 5 seconds whether you want it to or not.
Unknown
56 Likes
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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Scientist say that universe is made up of Electrons, Protons and Neutrons...They forgot to mention MORONS...
Unknown
396 Likes
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You know what guys & parking spaces have in common? The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicaps.
Nishan Panwar
366 Likes
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James Gandolfini's heart attack at age 51 has inspired me to get in better shape after I finish rewatching all six seasons of The Sopranos.
Unknown
81 Likes
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If a bra is called an 'Over the shoulder bolder holder,' then would you call men's underwear 'Under the butt nut hut?'
Unknown
486 Likes
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A girl's status will tell you more about how she feels than she ever will.
Unknown
450 Likes
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I can't tell if you have a better life than me, or better photo filters.
Unknown
98 Likes
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Theres always that person whom you wish their status was about you.
Unknown
168 Likes
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Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Unknown
723 Likes
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Am I on facebook because I'm bored, or am bored because I'm on facebook?
Unknown
469 Likes
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WELCOME TO FACEBOOK; The place where people add you as a friend & walk past you in the street. Where relationships are perfect, affairs are started, & liars believe they are telling the truth. Your enemies visit your profile the most, yet your friends & family block you, & even though you write what you are really thinking, someone always takes it the wrong way, & people think your status is about them.
Unknown
424 Likes
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The awkward moment when Justin Bieber's entire childhood was recorded and I can't even find a video of my first birthday.
Unknown
292 Likes
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The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
Johnneil Bertrand
505 Likes
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Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Unknown
842 Likes
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If you're born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a 'Bang.'
Unknown
437 Likes
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Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
405 Likes
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War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
Unknown
854 Likes
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Dance like the photos not being tagged. Love like you've never been unfriended. Sing like nobody's following. Share like you care. And do it all like it wont end up on Youtube!
Raymond Estrada
634 Likes
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I'd be more upset about the NSA accessing my phone records if I used my phone for anything but texting and taking pictures of my d..k.
Unknown
45 Likes
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