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Funny Dark Humork Humor Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Dark Humork Humor" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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My parents put us to sleep by tossing us up in the air. Of course, you have to have low ceilings for this method to work.
Unknown
9 Likes
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It's been said good things come to those who wait... All I have to say is whatever is coming to me,better be freaking fantastic!
Nishan Panwar
547 Likes
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Taylor Swift seems like the type of chick that would poke a hole in a condom.
Unknown
340 Likes
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Sati is hilarious all the time. She has a great sense of humor. She knows she's funny, too. Like whenever she does something cute, she gets this smile on her face and announces, 'Funny baby!'
Alyson Hannigan
9 Likes
Do as little harm to others as you can; make any sacrifice for your true friends; be responsible for yourself and ask nothing of others; and grab all the fun you can. Don't give much thought to yesterday, don't worry about tomorrow, live in the moment, and trust that your existence has meaning even when the world seems to be all blind chance and chaos. When life lands a hammer blow in your face, do your best to respond to the hammer as if it had been a cream pie. Sometimes black humor is the only kind we can summon, but even dark laughter can sustain.
Dean Koontz
39 Likes
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Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) fu.. it. I'll buy my own shit.
Unknown
917 Likes
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Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands.
Unknown
984 Likes
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Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children.
Unknown
1882 Likes
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Instead of cleaning my house, I just watched an episode of Hoarders. Now I don't feel so bad.
Unknown
98 Likes
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We have always had gross humor. But we try for funny, not gross.
Shawn Wayans
2 Likes
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When people call you photogenic, they're actually trying to tell you that you look uglier than your pics..
Ritu Ghatourey
1439 Likes
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True love is waking up next to your partner and thinking Well, I could smother them with a pillow or make breakfast. Sigh. Pancakes it is.
Unknown
468 Likes
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Join the Army! Travel to exotic, distant lands. Meet exciting, unusual people, and kill them.
Full Metal Jacket
41 Likes
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I don't know what humor is. Anything that's funny -- tragedy or anything, it don't make no difference so [long as] you happen to hit it just right. But there's one thing I'm proud of -- I ain't got it in for anybody. I don't like to make jokes that hurt anybody.
Will Rogers
6 Likes
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Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Unknown
13 Likes
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes ? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
Rita Rudner
21 Likes
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Our five senses are incomplete without the sixth, a sense of humor.
Unknown
114 Likes
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An important skill all leaders must have is a great sense of humor, humor keeps everyone at ease and break the ice between people. An effective leader must also be approachable and open.
Christopher Chan
37 Likes
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When I exercise, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.
Unknown
137 Likes
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When people ask me plz because it's shorter than please. I tell them no because it's shorter than yes .
Unknown
357 Likes
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