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Funny Dirty Jokes Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Dirty Jokes Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."
Unknown
1496 Likes
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Are you free tomorrow? No, Im fu..ing expensive.
Unknown
2521 Likes
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I love to utilize my celebrity status in a responsible and constructive and substantive manner. I like to get my hands dirty rather than a photo op.
William Baldwin
254 Likes
Being fat is nature's way of saying, You're so good, I think I'll make more of you!
Unknown
422 Likes
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When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's s..ual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.
Unknown
31 Likes
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When I exercise, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.
Unknown
137 Likes
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And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
Will Rogers
206 Likes
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Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
Robert Maynard Hutchins
77 Likes
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Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000...
Unknown
147 Likes
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Allowing gay marriages isn't nearly the gayest thing about California.
Unknown
40 Likes
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I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Unknown
85 Likes
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If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
Unknown
1748 Likes
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'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards...
Unknown
1246 Likes
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Just because I like your Facebook status does not mean I want to sleep, date, or hangout with you...
Oketa Ojok
8034 Likes
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Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.
Unknown
4765 Likes
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I refuse to go bungee jumping, I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one.
Unknown
664 Likes
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Behind every great woman, there is a guy looking at her ass.
Unknown
573 Likes
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Let's all pretend we're shocked that a professional football player committed sociopathic violence.
Unknown
57 Likes
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Not to name names, but I know some of you update your status from your phone so it appears like you actually left the house. -Sent from my iPhone
Unknown
3034 Likes
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The Miami Heat playing the San Antonio Spurs is the only way I could ever root for anything from Texas.
Unknown
41 Likes
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