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Funny Face Book Status Proper Grammer Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Face Book Status Proper Grammer" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Call me Spider-man because I'm in love with Mary Jane.
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420 Facebook Status quotes
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I stepped on a cornflake this morning...I'm a cereal killer now!
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I just saved a whole bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms.
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Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly closing it for the next person to deal with.
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I think car horns should sound like gun shots....I bet you'll move then.
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May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
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I wish Google maps had an, 'Avoid The Ghetto Route' option.
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I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire.
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I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
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588 Likes
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I'm not saying she's a slut, but I tried to put her name as my password and it said 'Error: too easy.'
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Just saw a homeless guy sleeping in a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. It must be his alarm system.
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Friends are like bum cheeks, shit comes between them but they always stick together.
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Sorry the casting of Fifty Shades of Grey has caused you to completely revamp your mastur...... fantasies.
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Dear Internet Users, Someday u will regret not reading me. Sincerely, Terms & Conditions.
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Ever looked back at your ex and asked yourself was I drunk the entire relationship?
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Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.
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They should name hurricanes with black people names. I'd be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay.
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Before you marry someone, ask yourself, 'Will they be a good killing partner during the zombie apocalypse?'
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Does a prostitude file pregnancy as a work-related accident?
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Our sincere condolences to the next woman Michael Douglas gives Catherine Zeta-Jones' HPV to.
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