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Funny Face Book Status Proper Grammer Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Face Book Status Proper Grammer" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Hi, I'm a shower. If you turn me on, I'll make you wet.
Mickey Anderson
230 Likes
Clever Facebook Status quotes
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Sometimes I walk through the baby aisle at the grocery store as a reminder to always use a condom.
Unknown
481 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I changed all my passwords to 'incorrect'. So my computer just tells me when I forget.
Unknown
2887 Likes
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I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing for decades, how did I manage to f*ck that up?
Unknown
434 Likes
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I'm pretty sure the whole ladies first thing was created by a guy just to check out ass.
Unknown
2760 Likes
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The thirst people have because they want a Valentine.
Unknown
256 Likes
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A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay an egg! He pushed and pushed and laid the 1st egg, then the 2nd. He was pushing to lay a 3rd egg when his wife screamed ''James! You're shitting on the bed!"
Unknown
604 Likes
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Fame obviously has become a premium in everybody's life. Everybody thinks they deserve it, everybody thinks they want it and most people really don't enjoy it once they get it.
Kelsey Grammer
1 Likes
Fame obviously has become a premium in everybody's life. Everybody thinks they deserve it, everybody thinks they want it and most people really don't enjoy it once they get it.
Kelsey Grammer
3 Likes
The truth is, I do indulge myself a little the more in pleasure, knowing that this is the proper age of my life to do it; and, out of my observation that most men that do thrive in the world do forget to take pleasure during the time that they are getting their estate, but reserve that till they have got one, and then it is too late for them to enjoy it.
Samuel Pepys
5 Likes
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Liking your own status, is like high-fiving yourself in public...
Unknown
201 Likes
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Great books are weighed and measured by their style and matter and not by the trimmings and shadings of their grammer.
Mark Twain
1 Likes
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I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings and so on, so on, you get it.
Unknown
291 Likes
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I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.
Unknown
54 Likes
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Everyones middle name should be, motherfu..in...try it. Doesn't it sound so great?
Unknown
370 Likes
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Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
Unknown
2640 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
617 Likes
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If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.
Hussein Nishah
317 Likes
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If State Farm were such a good neighbor they'd come over and pick up all the dog shit in my yard.
Unknown
775 Likes
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They say you are what you eat. Well that's funny...I don't recall eating a s..y beast today.
Unknown
100 Likes
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