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Funny Face Book Status Proper Grammer Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Face Book Status Proper Grammer" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Whenever you're feeling down, remember; you're the sperm that won.
Unknown
373 Likes
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I always lock my front door before I get in the shower 'cause if a killer broke in & heard me singing I'd be HUMILIATED.
Unknown
764 Likes
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who decided that paper beats rock? Have someone hold up a sheet of paper in front of their face, then throw a rock at it. Who wins?
Unknown
137 Likes
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The problem is, obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is no-one runs in your family...
Unknown
585 Likes
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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx
4 Likes
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The profession of book-writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.
John Steinbeck
18 Likes
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4 Rules for texting a girl: 1) Don't take 40 minutes to reply. 2) Use good grammar. 3) Ask Questions. 4) Always use the smiley face
Unknown
291 Likes
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Vodka-$19.99. Motel-$54.99. Condoms-$2.99. Finding Out She Swallows... PRICELESS!!!!! fu.. Visa, It Pays To Discover!!!!!
Unknown
706 Likes
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Dear vending machines, I'm sorry if my dollar isn't straight enough for you. Sincerely, stop being so homophobic.
Unknown
662 Likes
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If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get to leave. Somebody make that a law, please.
Unknown
121 Likes
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Let's promise we'll always stay close friends but ultimately settle for periodic glances at each other's Facebook status updates.
Unknown
27 Likes
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I probably could stand a chance on American Idol if I could bring my shower on stage.
Unknown
479 Likes
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I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.
Unknown
586 Likes
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That awkward moment when a black kid asks you to pass the skin colored crayon.
Unknown
264 Likes
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Boy: Why can't tampons talk? Girl: Because they're stuck up bi...es.
Dylan Nace
227 Likes
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That awkward moment, when you're walking through the metal detector and your abs of steel set it off.
Unknown
436 Likes
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CONGRATULATIONS! You've won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
Unknown
305 Likes
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If you try to watch the movie Titanic backwards...it's actually about a magical boat that saves people.
Unknown
839 Likes
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Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Unless you wanna slam a revolving door, then that's not going to happen.
Unknown
198 Likes
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I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me.....Wait.....
Unknown
573 Likes
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