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Funny Fb Status With Chats Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Fb Status With Chats" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Pregnancy tests should read: You're Screwed! or Keep Screwing.
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455 Likes
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Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.
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I hate it when I am singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.
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God loves me even when I don't forward those chain letters.
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If the world doesnt end on December 21st, 2012, I have a feeling there will be a lot of babies born on September 20th, 2013.
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Dear Dora, how in the hell did do you get that tiny shirt to fit over your big head...Sincerely, thats physically impossible!
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354 Likes
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Dont be a racist. Be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber; created by Japanese people, who speak English and look like Mexicans.
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253 Likes
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If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, then have we found the perfect location for a Nickelback concert?
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234 Likes
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A pe..s has a rough life. His hair always looks a mess, he stays next to an asshole, his family is nuts, his best friends are pussies and his owner is always beating him.
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455 Likes
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Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: 'Local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?'
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378 Likes
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Today is national animal day. Please take a moment to remember your ex.
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502 Likes
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If couples who are in love are called 'love birds', then couples who always argue should be called 'angry birds.'
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1326 Likes
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Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes.
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434 Likes
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Tuesday isn't so bad...It's a sign that I've somehow survived Monday.
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122 Likes
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Your FB profile says 'Single and ready to mingle!' ??? Sorry dude, you're just a 'Loner with a Boner.'
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542 Likes
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What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
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261 Likes
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I felt so bad last night for having this one night stand, the following day I got another one for the other side of the bed.
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298 Likes
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Buy condoms & when the cashier asks do you need a bag? Just say, No she isn't that ugly!
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335 Likes
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I wonder how people would react if I walked into Sea World with a fishing pole.
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462 Likes
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Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
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348 Likes
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