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Funny Funny Thanksgiving Christmas New Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Funny Thanksgiving Christmas New" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I'd be much more into the office holiday party if my coworkers weren't invited.
Unknown
37 Likes
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If you think Independence Day is Americas defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title, hands-down.
Tony Snow
6 Likes
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There's no limit to the amount of company time I'd waste shopping for your holiday gift.
Unknown
2 Likes
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Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.
Tom Sims
31 Likes
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You remind me of Santa in that you work about one day a year and spend the other 364 days judging.
Unknown
57 Likes
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Let's hope the kids are stupid enough to believe Santa bought them this year's budget-conscious, crappy gifts.
Unknown
8 Likes
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Christmas: The only time of the year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.
Rick Sutter
63 Likes
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If you're sad about being single this holiday season, remember that even Kim Kardashian is unmarried 293 days a year.
Unknown
11 Likes
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May your holiday season be filled with friends and family who don't bring up your school's horrifying pedophiliac s.. scandal.
Unknown
16 Likes
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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Jay Leno
35 Likes
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Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer...Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?
Bill Watterson
19 Likes
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Erma Bombeck
11 Likes
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
Johnny Carson
11 Likes
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BOY: Can I have a photo of you? GIRL: Why? BOY: So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.
Unknown
137 Likes
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Mentally I am ready for Christmas. Financially I am not ready for Christmas.
Unknown
63 Likes
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Let's spend Thanksgiving spilling food on our clothes, and Black Friday buying new ones.
Unknown
36 Likes
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Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.
Unknown
40 Likes
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Happy Thanksgiving to someone I'd have no problem stomping to death on Black Friday.
Unknown
43 Likes
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Every Christmas I only buy gifts for friends when I find out they already got me one.
Unknown
82 Likes
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You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.
Robert Paul
16 Likes
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