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Funny Heather Poem Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Heather Poem" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Instead of cleaning my house, I just watched an episode of Hoarders. Now I don't feel so bad.
Unknown
98 Likes
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Judgment of another person is merely the decision of how much you want them involved in your life. It's not wrong if it occurs early on; that's instinct's guidance. And it's not wrong to change your mind later; things change, people change--life changes constantly.
Heather McKenzie
56 Likes
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When people call you photogenic, they're actually trying to tell you that you look uglier than your pics..
Ritu Ghatourey
1439 Likes
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Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right.
Matthew Perry
5 Likes
True love is waking up next to your partner and thinking Well, I could smother them with a pillow or make breakfast. Sigh. Pancakes it is.
Unknown
468 Likes
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According to most philosophers, God in making the world enslaved it. According to Christianity, in making it, He set it free. God had written, not so much a poem, but rather a play; a play he had planned as perfect, but which had necessarily been left to human actors and stage-managers, who had since made a great mess of it.
GK Chesterton
8 Likes
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A relationship is like a rose, how long it lasts, no one knows; Love can erase an awful past, love can be yours, you'll see at last; To feel that love, it makes you sigh, to have it leave, you'd rather die; You hope you've found that special rose, 'cause you love and care for the one you chose.
Rob Cella
32 Likes
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My New Year's resolution is to never tell you what the person looks like who you kissed on New Year's.
Unknown
27 Likes
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s.. is always funny. I don't find it s..y, I find it really horrifying. But it's an act that we need. And that need, that desire, is what makes it really funny.
Elizabeth Banks
2 Likes
It's funny how you go through the year day by day but nothing changes, then when you look back, everything's different.
Ritu Ghatourey
205 Likes
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I love yoga pants. Not only are they comfortable, but they make my butt look great.
Unknown
59 Likes
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My daughter said she's gonna be a hoe for Halloween. I think it's cute that she likes gardening.
Unknown
234 Likes
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My daughter's really into the Halloween spirit. She's been in her pregnant lady constume for months now.
Unknown
297 Likes
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When you don't have a good signal on your phone and you go all lion king on it.
Unknown
133 Likes
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I've never cooked. I can't do much more in the kitchen than make a cup of tea and some toast.
Ethel Merman
5 Likes
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When I exercise, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.
Unknown
137 Likes
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When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny.
Mo Rocca
0 Likes
Shortest horror story in history: Tomorrow is Monday.
Unknown
375 Likes
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I wonder what the blood alcohol level is of all these mosquitos that keep biting me?
Unknown
372 Likes
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Wishing you even a minuscule percentage of the wealth and attention that will be showered upon the Kardashian fetus in 2013.
Unknown
7 Likes
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