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Funny Hello Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Hello Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Facebook event invites from people you barely know should really have a 'seriously?' option in the reply.
Unknown
308 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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A pe..s has a rough life. His hair always looks a mess, he stays next to an asshole, his family is nuts, his best friends are pussies and his owner is always beating him.
Unknown
455 Likes
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Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: 'Local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?'
Unknown
378 Likes
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If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, then have we found the perfect location for a Nickelback concert?
Unknown
234 Likes
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Dear Dora, how in the hell did do you get that tiny shirt to fit over your big head...Sincerely, thats physically impossible!
Unknown
354 Likes
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Dont be a racist. Be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber; created by Japanese people, who speak English and look like Mexicans.
Unknown
253 Likes
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If the world doesnt end on December 21st, 2012, I have a feeling there will be a lot of babies born on September 20th, 2013.
Unknown
2396 Likes
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Today is national animal day. Please take a moment to remember your ex.
Unknown
502 Likes
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If couples who are in love are called 'love birds', then couples who always argue should be called 'angry birds.'
Unknown
1326 Likes
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When you are trying to get out of the aisle at the movies, and you have to pass by people, do you give them the nut or the butt?
Unknown
599 Likes
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The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.
Saket Narayan
285 Likes
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Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Unknown
348 Likes
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'Do not machine wash or tumble dry.' really means I will never wash this ever.
Unknown
31 Likes
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Life's like your Ex-boyfriend it has it's up it has it's down but in the end you still finish it.
Unknown
236 Likes
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What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
Unknown
261 Likes
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When you see a man opening a car door for a woman it can only mean 1 of 2 things. Either the car is new or the wife is.
Unknown
572 Likes
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I hate driving behind log trucks, all I can think about is Final Destination...
Unknown
146 Likes
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Facebook is like a fridge. When you're bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there's anything good in it.
Unknown
1405 Likes
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Buy condoms & when the cashier asks do you need a bag? Just say, No she isn't that ugly!
Unknown
335 Likes
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I felt so bad last night for having this one night stand, the following day I got another one for the other side of the bed.
Unknown
298 Likes
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