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Funny Pre Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Pre" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I know from my constituency what is going on. Doctors that are told, begged, by mothers, 'Please don't write down that my child as asthma. Please lie and say it's bronchitis, because if you write down asthma, when my child turns 18 or 20 and has to get his or her own insurance, it will be a pre-existing condition.'
Barbara Boxer
1 Likes
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I've had one. We had a pre-game routine where we had to start at one end of the field and end up all the way on the other end. We had these uniforms that had to be laced from the bellybutton all the way up. Mine was a little loose and since we had to dance the whole time the movement was making the laces unravel. I couldn't do anything about it and to add to the situation, there was a cameraman on me that was sending images to the Jumbotron.
Amber Lancaster
3 Likes
Id do anything for a perfect beach body, except work out and eat less.
Unknown
160 Likes
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This Christmas I've decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket....so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass.
Unknown
719 Likes
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I don't think you need a pre-nup. If you have to plan your divorce before you get married, don't get married.
Unknown
33 Likes
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You look at people and think they live completely different lives than you because of the way they look, dress, eat. How much they travel, what they do for a living, who their friends are, how much money they have...but the truth is we all have hopes, dreams, aspirations, love, opportunities. We all know happiness and we all know struggle. Don't pre-judge a person because at heart, most of us are the same and we are all just trying to live our lives!
Markesa Yeager
8 Likes
What people actually think: ha = you. suck. haha = not that funny. hahaha = really funny actually. hahahaha = funniest. thing. ever!! hahahahaha = I wanna be your friend/ gf/ bf. ahahahahaha = you. suck. a. lot.
Lala
106 Likes
Facebook Haha Funny Thoughts Secrets Hate Love quotes
Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) fu.. it. I'll buy my own shit.
Unknown
917 Likes
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I always buy the smaller turkeys. On the pre-baste put pats of butter on the meat under the skin, put the skin back on, put a bunch of seasoning on the top, call it a day, put it in the oven. With a 10-12 pound turkey you are done in a couple of hours.
Sandra Lee
1 Likes
My resolution is to spend more time avoiding friends and family.
Unknown
25 Likes
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My resolution is to spend less time working which means you'll have to work more.
Unknown
8 Likes
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I hope one of your New Year's resolutions is to stop tagging me in New Year's photos.
Unknown
39 Likes
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Pre-teens, teens and college students have unlimited access to the Internet - 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Because of the repeated exposure they have to illegal Internet gambling sites, they fall victim by the thousands.
Spencer Bachus
40 Likes
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For my new year's resolution, I promise to stop correcting your terrible spelling and focus more on your horrific grammar.
Unknown
20 Likes
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The future is what we make of it, not what someone says it will be. Our lives are not pre-destined by fate, or set down in a book, or determined by a set of cultural rules, animal signs, or movement of the stars. The future is not written for us...we must write it well.
Unknown
25 Likes
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Sorry that, statistically speaking, you probably won't fulfill your resolution.
Unknown
8 Likes
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My resolution is to get healthier while still destroying myself with alcohol and drugs.
Unknown
21 Likes
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Funny is funny is funny.
Bob Newhart
0 Likes
I love funny people, and when I'm with funny people, or people who are amusing in their weirdness, I love it. Because that to me is funny, as opposed to someone who stops and says, 'Hey let me tell you a joke.'
Paul Feig
6 Likes
My excuses for already failing my New Year's resolution are more complicated than the fiscal cliff deal.
Unknown
22 Likes
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