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Funny Pre Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Pre Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I think Dexter is a man whoa part of himself is very much frozen, or arrested in a place that is pre-memory, pre-conscious, pre-verbal. Something very traumatic happened to him, he doesn't know what that is. And I think on some level he wants to know. He denies his humanity, he describes himself as someone who is without feeling, and yet I think that he maybe suspects - in a way that maybe isn't even conscious yet when we first meet him - that he is in fact a human being. Dexter's a unique killer in that his father saw his dark impulses, shined a light on them, and told Dexter that he saw them, he accepted them, that Dexter is good and that he is worthy of love. And I think that's what enables him to focus his energies in this unique way.
Michael C Hall
27 Likes
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My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
Roseanne Barr
79 Likes
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Being fat is nature's way of saying, You're so good, I think I'll make more of you!
Unknown
422 Likes
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When I exercise, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.
Unknown
137 Likes
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And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
Will Rogers
206 Likes
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Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
Robert Maynard Hutchins
77 Likes
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So what I do now is to pre-empt that by making the up into a virtue, and telling funny stories about how crap I am before people have a chance to notice it for themselves and think maybe I haven't realised.
Emily Mortimer
1 Likes
Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000...
Unknown
147 Likes
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I don't get why gyms have mirrors...I know what I look like. That's why I'm there.
Unknown
122 Likes
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If you're on the treadmill next to me, the answer is yes...we are racing.
Unknown
77 Likes
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The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
Robert Paul
2280 Likes
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Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Ron Alderson
69 Likes
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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
11 Likes
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People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
Hussein Nishah
303 Likes
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We're happy that you were able to come to the wedding despite not having time to RSVP with the self addressed, pre-paid envelope we sent you months ago.
Unknown
20 Likes
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
Wanda Sykes
0 Likes
If swimming is such a good way to stay in shape; Explain whales...
Unknown
175 Likes
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At the gym Boy doing sit-ups: '1...2...3...' Hot girl walks by Boy: '97...98...99...'
Unknown
193 Likes
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
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People may think he's not perfect but in my mind he's beyond perfect when you're able to look into his eyes and see the real him. Having his arms wrapped around you because he cares more about you than anything, the way he says I love you and those cute little inside jokes nobody else would understand the way he giggles at your jokes even when they aren't even funny or the way he talks about you to his friends it makes you realize how much he means to you. His flaws make him perfect and when I'm around him I feel like everything's okay again and he's the solution to all my problems.
Unknown
564 Likes
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