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Funny Song Status About Jason Alden Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Song Status About Jason Alden" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
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I get super paranoid whenever I walk into a store with something that they sell there...
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Before you marry someone, ask yourself, 'Will they be a good killing partner during the zombie apocalypse?'
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They should name hurricanes with black people names. I'd be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay.
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The problem is, obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is no-one runs in your family...
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Freddy has a couple of great sequences in the film, but he's kind of like the puppet master in this for a while. What's great about Freddy in this is when he gets to comment and manipulate the back stories and the fears of the characters...especially with Jason. I'll just give you a hint: Freddy meets baby Jason. Ok...it's great, it's just really sick stuff.
Robert Englund
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I probably could stand a chance on American Idol if I could bring my shower on stage.
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Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: 'Jim's whor.. house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.'
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If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get to leave. Somebody make that a law, please.
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A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.
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Dear vending machines, I'm sorry if my dollar isn't straight enough for you. Sincerely, stop being so homophobic.
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Vodka-$19.99. Motel-$54.99. Condoms-$2.99. Finding Out She Swallows... PRICELESS!!!!! fu.. Visa, It Pays To Discover!!!!!
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I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me.....Wait.....
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CONGRATULATIONS! You've won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
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Mitt Romney should change his first name to Fetch, because he's never going to happen.
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Dear Jesus, I can afford wine. How about you start turning water into gas?
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Let's promise we'll always stay close friends but ultimately settle for periodic glances at each other's Facebook status updates.
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I wonder if Chinese tourists get upset when they buy a souvenir from America and find out it was made in China...
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That awkward moment, when you're walking through the metal detector and your abs of steel set it off.
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I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.
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