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Funny Status For I Am Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Status For I Am" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Here's to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for not making anyone else be married to them.
Unknown
240 Likes
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I always write 'Wake Up' on my To-Do-List so I can at least accomplish one thing a day.
Unknown
813 Likes
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I wonder if fat drug dealers sell diet coke.
Charlie Sheen
2230 Likes
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I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
Unknown
14673 Likes
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Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital.
Unknown
1468 Likes
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Everybody knows somebody who's Facebook relationship status should be 'Still banging my ex.'
Unknown
597 Likes
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This Christmas I've decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket....so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass.
Unknown
719 Likes
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For April Fools Day, I think Facebook should switch the search box and the status update box around. So people would post updates on who they stalk.
Unknown
6546 Likes
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Deleting your Facebook is like running away from home. You're only doing it for attention and you'll be back in a day.
Unknown
1281 Likes
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Facebook is like a relationship: Faithful on your wall, but cheating in their inbox...
Unknown
1239 Likes
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The government could fix everything that's wrong with the country if they'd simply read my Facebook updates.
Unknown
62 Likes
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The first status on Facebook in 2013: 'Is anyone alive?'
Unknown
616 Likes
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Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.
Unknown
2419 Likes
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It's been said good things come to those who wait... All I have to say is whatever is coming to me,better be freaking fantastic!
Nishan Panwar
547 Likes
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I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose.
Unknown
933 Likes
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That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of another car and realize there's someone inside.
Unknown
631 Likes
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Taylor Swift seems like the type of chick that would poke a hole in a condom.
Unknown
340 Likes
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I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.
Unknown
255 Likes
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Parent: What did you learn today? Student: Apparently not enough! We have to go back tomorrow!
Unknown
1256 Likes
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Facebook is that insecure chick that keeps changing her hairstyle &/or color until she finally loses her mind and shaves it & scares everyone.
Unknown
520 Likes
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