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Funny Status For I Am Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Status For I Am" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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The awkward moment, when Usain Bolt runs faster than your internet connection.
Unknown
293 Likes
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Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in real life.
Unknown
722 Likes
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I like to put things back where I got them from when I am done using them...so I dropped your mom off at the bar.
Unknown
232 Likes
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Dear Teacher. Please stop make us sleepy, we have no bed in class. Sincerely, students.
OhItsVynn
216 Likes
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The day Rick Ross dives into the crowd, is the day we find out who his true fans are.
Kevin Hart
801 Likes
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I'm glad it's finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
Unknown
225 Likes
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One day I might just change all of my passwords to 'Women' since nobody can seem to figure them out.
Unknown
409 Likes
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Okay mom...you know I love you...but I can't accept your friend request on Facebook.
Unknown
1034 Likes
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Slut jokes are just whor..able.
Unknown
524 Likes
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The government may force me to have health insurance but they can never force me to respect my body.
Unknown
45 Likes
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When people call you photogenic, they're actually trying to tell you that you look uglier than your pics..
Ritu Ghatourey
1439 Likes
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Dr: Are you s..ually active? Me: Yes I'm a Facebook whor...
Unknown
400 Likes
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I bet that in prison everyone's FB relationship status is set to "it's complicated".
Unknown
4457 Likes
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Ever had s.. while camping? It's fu..ing in tents.
Unknown
410 Likes
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Mom: Your great aunt just passed away. LOL Me: Why is that funny? Mom: It's not funny David! What do you mean? Me: Mom lol means laughing out loud! Mom: Oh my goodness! I sent that to everyone I thought it meant lots of love. I have to call everyone back oh God.
Unknown
800 Likes
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In today's world, the key to success is to delete your Facebook account!
Unknown
972 Likes
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When you don't have a good signal on your phone and you go all lion king on it.
Unknown
133 Likes
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I love yoga pants. Not only are they comfortable, but they make my butt look great.
Unknown
59 Likes
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My daughter's really into the Halloween spirit. She's been in her pregnant lady constume for months now.
Unknown
297 Likes
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My daughter said she's gonna be a hoe for Halloween. I think it's cute that she likes gardening.
Unknown
234 Likes
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