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Funny Status In Real Life Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Status In Real Life" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly closing it for the next person to deal with.
Unknown
567 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I'm not saying she's a slut but whenever she eats a banana in public, she puts one hand behind her head.
Unknown
297 Likes
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I get super paranoid whenever I walk into a store with something that they sell there...
Unknown
37 Likes
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Dear Internet Users, Someday u will regret not reading me. Sincerely, Terms & Conditions.
Unknown
1055 Likes
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May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Unknown
1005 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Sorry the casting of Fifty Shades of Grey has caused you to completely revamp your mastur...... fantasies.
Unknown
63 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I think car horns should sound like gun shots....I bet you'll move then.
Unknown
168 Likes
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I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire.
Unknown
705 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
Unknown
585 Likes
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Our sincere condolences to the next woman Michael Douglas gives Catherine Zeta-Jones' HPV to.
Unknown
26 Likes
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Hey I just met you, & this is crazy. But I'm on bath salts. You're face looks tasty!
Unknown
284 Likes
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I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering, 98 of them said: How the hell did you get in here?
Nikhil Saluja
208 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go fu.. itself.
Unknown
636 Likes
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I said I'd be there in 5 minutes. Quit calling me every half hour.
Nikhil Saluja
277 Likes
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Call me Spider-man because I'm in love with Mary Jane.
Unknown
235 Likes
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Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.
Unknown
536 Likes
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The problem is, obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is no-one runs in your family...
Unknown
585 Likes
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Everything seems dirtier when it's late at night.
Unknown
61 Likes
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I want a real relationship; not a facebook one
Unknown
2736 Likes
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I messed up my entire life, because I got high. I lost my kids and wife, because I got high. Now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk... and I know why.
Afroman
96 Likes
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