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Funny Survival Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Survival" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don't worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.
Unknown
1171 Likes
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They say he's [Yogi Berra] funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Casey Stengel
7 Likes
Money quotes
Life is an error-making and an error-correcting process, and nature in marking man's papers will grade him for wisdom as measured both by survival and by the quality of life of those who survive.
Jonas Salk
16 Likes
Wisdom quotes
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Water is one of the basic needs of survival of mankind and water can destroy it, too. That is the power of NATURE. But there is an even more powerful dimension of NATURE which is a blessing to humans; courage, intelligence, compassion and the power to stand again.
Vikas Khanna
5 Likes
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I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
Wanda Sykes
63 Likes
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This New Years, I'm going to party like Maury just told me I'm not the father!
Unknown
68 Likes
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The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
Robert Paul
2280 Likes
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If you're on the treadmill next to me, the answer is yes...we are racing.
Unknown
77 Likes
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I won't kill you, but I'll enjoy reading your obituary.
Unknown
31 Likes
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Now that the holiday blues are over, let's resume our everyday melancholy.
Unknown
11 Likes
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I don't get why gyms have mirrors...I know what I look like. That's why I'm there.
Unknown
122 Likes
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It may be the antidepressants talking, but I'm feeling somewhat optimistic about 2014.
Unknown
9 Likes
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Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.
Lucy Liu
40 Likes
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Friday is the beginning of my liver's workweek.
Unknown
110 Likes
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I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they call, I always say I'll be there in 5 minutes.
Unknown
264 Likes
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It's funny looking at yourself. You know how it is when you look back at old pictures? It's just funny looking back at yourself walking and talking at age 14.
Jennifer Connelly
46 Likes
I think cheese smells funny, but I feel bananas are funny. I'm assuming Swamp told the whole story of the executives seriously asking us to replace the banana with cheese because they thought it was funnier.
Joe Murray
2 Likes
Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Ron Alderson
69 Likes
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Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
Zariahh Renee
378 Likes
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In this business, fame lasts for a second. You can be blown up and be blown down. People keep losing interest in faces because new ones come along every single second. I'm one at the moment. Tomorrow I won't be. That's cool. I'm not saying that when it does end, I'll be like, 'Yay! It's ending.' But I'll move on and do something else because that's what has to be done. It's about survival. If you're sad about it, then you're in the wrong job.
Keira Knightley
7 Likes
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