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Funny Time With My Best Fri Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Time With My Best Fri" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Sorry the guy you spent so much time pretending to like lost the election.
Unknown
4 Likes
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Its funny how you can hate someone & be completely head over heels for them at the same time. Be mad at them but want to comfort them too.
Unknown
8 Likes
Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Unknown
1251 Likes
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And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
Will Rogers
206 Likes
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If you have a shitty job, you probably shouldn't lick your fingers at lunch time.
Unknown
40 Likes
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It's a funny thing about me. I don't have any interest in food most of the time now, although when I was a kid I was always hungry.
Alan Ladd
3 Likes
I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job and I made my own hours.
Nikhil Saluja
56 Likes
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I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you.
Bill Walton
24 Likes
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Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away
Laurence J Peter
78 Likes
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Funny how every time you push me away you turn around and you beg me to stay. Cut down by all the things you say. Ive had enough.
Unknown
9 Likes
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Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.
Marilyn Vos Savant
16 Likes
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Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember, somebody got tired of her
Ralph Waldo Emerson
64 Likes
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I cannot afford to waste my time making money.
Louis Agassiz
17 Likes
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Downton Abbey has taught me there was a time when British healthcare was just as horrifying as ours.
Unknown
2 Likes
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Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.
Garry Shandling
3 Likes
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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Demetri Martin
62 Likes
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You spend your TIME to make a DIME. You lose your HEALTH to make your WEALTH, but at the end it is FUNNY because you leave all your MONEY behind.
Unknown
41 Likes
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Is there a cure for a broken heart? Only time can heal your broken heart, just as time can heal his broken arms and legs.
Miss Piggy
75 Likes
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Everything under heaven is a sacred vessel and cannot be controlled. Trying to control leads to ruin. Trying to grasp, we lose. Allow your life to unfold naturally. Know that it too is a vessel of perfection. Just as you breathe in and breathe out, there is a time for being ahead and a time for being behind; a time for being in motion and a time for being at rest; a time for being vigorous and a time for being exhausted; a time for being safe and a time for being in danger.
Lao Tzu
32 Likes
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An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Ernest Hemingway
5 Likes
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