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Funny To Put As Your Friends Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny To Put As Your Friends Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I don't need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends I can be certain of.
Unknown
200 Likes
Friends quotes
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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.
Unknown
5612 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
Unknown
842 Likes
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Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing.
Unknown
696 Likes
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently.
Unknown
287 Likes
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Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
Unknown
501 Likes
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Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Unknown
723 Likes
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Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
Unknown
3567 Likes
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Are you free tomorrow? No, Im fu..ing expensive.
Unknown
2521 Likes
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Please GOD if you cant make me slim, make my friends fat.
Unknown
327 Likes
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Rumors. Well at least you're spreading something else besides your legs.
Unknown
3058 Likes
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...condom says to the tampon, "You put me out of a job for 1 week a month!" The tampon replies, "When you don't do your job properly, I lose mine for 9 months!"
Unknown
4880 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness.
Chanakya
70 Likes
Friends quotes
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Joey: Beth is really sick, I don't think they can do anything for her. Rachel: Joey, wanna put the book in the freezer?
Friends
4 Likes
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You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned.
Judith Viorst
3 Likes
Funny quotes
Age quotes
Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Unknown
1251 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
Unknown
1748 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.
Unknown
4765 Likes
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