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Funny Twitter Status And Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Twitter Status And" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I dont want to sound paranoid, but Im pretty sure people are following me.
Unknown
332 Likes
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently.
Unknown
287 Likes
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Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
Unknown
501 Likes
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Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Unknown
723 Likes
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Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
Unknown
3567 Likes
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Ive learned I dont know anything. Have also learned that people will pay for what I know. Life is good.
Unknown
66 Likes
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Are you free tomorrow? No, Im fu..ing expensive.
Unknown
2521 Likes
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Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?
Unknown
64 Likes
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A human. Being.
Unknown
35 Likes
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Oh wow. You're really gonna fight me over the internet? What's the worst you can do, caps-lock my ass?
Unknown
48 Likes
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Hey baby wanna come over to myspace so I could twitter your yahoo till you google all over my facebook.
Unknown
228 Likes
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Twitter is all fun and games until it's meet and greet time...
Unknown
3 Likes
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My parents should be proud of me because I'm addicted to Twitter and not drugs.
Unknown
95 Likes
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I don't know. Twitter is the place I spill everything about my feelings when no one is willing to listen. It's like a therapy for me too.
Unknown
3 Likes
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Twitter should automatically delete stuck up people, they belong on Facebook...
Unknown
8 Likes
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Another papercut survivor.
Unknown
74 Likes
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Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
Unknown
72 Likes
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When they say 'There's plenty of other fish in the sea' they mean catfish in the river of Twitter.
Unknown
10 Likes
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