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I Once Dated A Man Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "I Once Dated A Man Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Who ever invented the Knock- Knock jokes should get a No-bell prize!
Unknown
202 Likes
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Black and Mexican jokes are all the same. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
Unknown
252 Likes
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Smith
532 Likes
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Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on thee and I'll forgive thy great big one on me.
Robert Frost
16 Likes
Jokes quotes
People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them.
Dolly Parton
35 Likes
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For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies
Laurence Sterne
8 Likes
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle
47 Likes
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
152 Likes
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If a red head guy works at a bakery, does that make him a ginger bread man?
Unknown
78 Likes
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My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. I never did like to work, and I don't deny it. I'd rather read, tell stories, crack jokes, talk, laugh - anything but work.
Abraham Lincoln
271 Likes
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I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe
304 Likes
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I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe
100 Likes
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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Unknown
1251 Likes
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I've never dated, I've always just had boyfriends.
Famke Janssen
1 Likes
I had plenty of pi.ples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
Rodney Dangerfield
87 Likes
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Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant.
Rue McClanahan
1 Likes
One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun. The woman doctor agrees to it. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have s.. for an hour or so. Afterwards, the man says to the woman, You're a surgeon, aren't you? Yeah, how did you know? The man says, I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started. Oh, that makes sense, says the woman. Youre an anesthesiologist aren't you? Yeah, says the man, a bit surprised. How did you know? The woman answers, Because I didn't feel a thing.
Unknown
341 Likes
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I think of myself as a writer with a sense of humor rather than a comedy writer. Happy to tell a story with lots of jokes in it, I wouldn't know how to do jokes without the story.
Steven Moffat
6 Likes
I never dated someone who has the same sign as me. Opposites Attract but maybe this is a first...
Unknown
3 Likes
If I dated as many people as they said I have, then I would be dead, because it's just not possible.
Lindsay Lohan
0 Likes
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