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Jokes About Arrogant Sel Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Jokes About Arrogant Sel" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Roger Ebert has had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to pay him if he ever has to give a thumbprint.
Andy Waits
30 Likes
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It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of s.. jokes and gross humour.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
18 Likes
Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
Frank Carson
63 Likes
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I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. And that' s been happening.
Dan Hicks
0 Likes
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.
Arnold H Glasgow
8 Likes
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis Diller
37 Likes
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When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying saucers...and plates, pots, mugs...
Robert Paul
43 Likes
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When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
Seth MacFarlane
2 Likes
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car... Is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
Unknown
478 Likes
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i know you think you broke my heart, but I saw your game right from the start, I knew it well and played it too, so laugh it up the jokes on you.
Katie Johnson
51 Likes
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Be strong, but not rude. Be kind, but not weak. Be humble, but not timid. Be proud, but not arrogant.
Unknown
42 Likes
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I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper
72 Likes
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.
Tommy Cooper
44 Likes
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Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.
Frank Muir
0 Likes
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!
Milton Jones
245 Likes
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Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...I will find you. You have my Word.
Unknown
110 Likes
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
47 Likes
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You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically.
Hector Elizondo
0 Likes
So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'
Tommy Cooper
17 Likes
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My mom was a little weird. When I was little she would make chocolate frosting. And she'd let me lick the beaters. And then she'd turn them off.
Marty Cohen
25 Likes
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