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Recent Funny Facebook Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Recent Funny Facebook" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Call me Spider-man because I'm in love with Mary Jane.
Unknown
235 Likes
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420 Facebook Status quotes
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Dear Internet Users, Someday u will regret not reading me. Sincerely, Terms & Conditions.
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1055 Likes
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If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go fu.. itself.
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I just saved a whole bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms.
Unknown
341 Likes
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May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Unknown
1005 Likes
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Hey I just met you, & this is crazy. But I'm on bath salts. You're face looks tasty!
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284 Likes
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The problem is, obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is no-one runs in your family...
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585 Likes
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I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me.....Wait.....
Unknown
573 Likes
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Showing your friend a funny video on YouTube and constantly checking their face to make sure they're enjoying it...
Unknown
1081 Likes
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CONGRATULATIONS! You've won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
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305 Likes
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If you try to watch the movie Titanic backwards...it's actually about a magical boat that saves people.
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That awkward moment when a black kid asks you to pass the skin colored crayon.
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264 Likes
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Let's promise we'll always stay close friends but ultimately settle for periodic glances at each other's Facebook status updates.
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Dear vending machines, I'm sorry if my dollar isn't straight enough for you. Sincerely, stop being so homophobic.
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I probably could stand a chance on American Idol if I could bring my shower on stage.
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My dog thinks I am patting his belly...little does he know I am playing the most epic drum solo of all time.
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My Lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my Birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch."
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Boy: Why can't tampons talk? Girl: Because they're stuck up bi...es.
Dylan Nace
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Mitt Romney should change his first name to Fetch, because he's never going to happen.
Unknown
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Vodka-$19.99. Motel-$54.99. Condoms-$2.99. Finding Out She Swallows... PRICELESS!!!!! fu.. Visa, It Pays To Discover!!!!!
Unknown
706 Likes
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