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Seinfeld Mar Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Seinfeld Mar" sorted by relevance. 86 matching entries found.
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My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.
Jerry Seinfeld
6 Likes
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I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure they all know that driving without braking is not something I recommend, unless you have professional clown training or a comedy background, as I do. It is not something I plan to make a habit.
Jerry Seinfeld
2 Likes
I miss being on the stage with the gang, you know, and we would make up stuff sometimes and laugh and I miss writing with Larry. And there was a,we had a great feeling together. We really all thought we were, you know, we enjoyed each other's humor.
Jerry Seinfeld
2 Likes
Dogs have no money. Isn't that amazing? They're broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? No pockets.
Jerry Seinfeld
7 Likes
My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
Jerry Seinfeld
28 Likes
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My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
Jerry Seinfeld
30 Likes
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
Jerry Seinfeld
21 Likes
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I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?
Jerry Seinfeld
94 Likes
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We don't have a laugh track, which helped Seinfeld a lot, and did kind of tell people when to laugh. It just made it a lot easier. Our show doesn't have that, so it's hard for Middle America to catch on.
Alia Shawkat
0 Likes
I would love to be in a Paul Thomas Anderson movie, I'd love to do television with Jerry Seinfeld or Michael Richards, who I think are the greatest talents ever on television.
Eddie Kaye Thomas
13 Likes
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Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we areto the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.
Jerry Seinfeld
829 Likes
Birthday quotes
I just knew it was time to leave that thing where it was. Even though I still occasionally think about it, I still think I did it the right way. It was the correct type of ending. By which I mean it came a little sooner than people were expecting...was such a wonderful experience for me. It wasn't even the thing I thought I was going to have a talent for. I just fell in with the perfect group of people and everything about it was sort of miraculous.
Jerry Seinfeld
1 Likes
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Jerry Seinfeld
13 Likes
Death quotes
I do not know why anyone would host an awards show. No matter how unbelievably well you do at it, the only thing that can happen is you get asked again to host an awards show.
Jerry Seinfeld
5 Likes
I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And he convinced me to eat one. And it was horrible and it was exciting. And I thought, this will be gross and I'll have a story: I had my first oyster with Paul Newman.
Jerry Seinfeld
2 Likes
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There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
Jerry Seinfeld
19 Likes
Funny quotes
Single quotes
Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, s..ually, is that men are like firemen. To men, s.. is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.
Jerry Seinfeld
27 Likes
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According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Jerry Seinfeld
17 Likes
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According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Jerry Seinfeld
8 Likes
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That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me
Jerry Seinfeld
16 Likes
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