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Status On My Pout Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Status On My Pout" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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How do homeless people always seem to get the shopping cart that has all four good wheels?
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353 Likes
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My wife said she wanted something that went from 0 to 400 in 2 seconds....I got her a bathroom scale.
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472 Likes
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I didn't fall. The floor just needed a hug.
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114 Likes
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I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?'
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521 Likes
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Trying to accomplish a task before the microwave hits 0 like your life depends on it.
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88 Likes
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Ignoring somebodys text and then posting a Facebook status on purpose....Thug life.
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141 Likes
TV Commercials: 'Call in the next 10 minutes and recieve all this for free!' Pshh...Like they know when I watched this.
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75 Likes
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That awkward moment when something in a dollar store isn't $1.
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77 Likes
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That awkward two hours when your daughter is at the same bar as you.
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31 Likes
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I restart the whole song when I miss my favorite part.
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128 Likes
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I wish the dollar store would sell gas.
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198 Likes
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Dear inventors of Tampons, How awkward was it for you to explain your invention to everyone?
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509 Likes
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A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
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37 Likes
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I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back....Nice ass.
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148 Likes
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Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.
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128 Likes
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You think youre pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower.
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46 Likes
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When you're doing something you aren't supposed to, every small noise scares the shit out of you.
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133 Likes
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If you are excited about the new season of 16 & Pregnant...you need to re-evaluate your life.
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65 Likes
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Making faces to a stranger's baby when their parents aren't looking...
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92 Likes
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The most common phrase in China: 'Hey! You look familiar!'
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226 Likes
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