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Thats Funny Last Time I Checked Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Thats Funny Last Time I Checked" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Before someone gets their drivers liscence they should have to beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart without falling off.
Unknown
376 Likes
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My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.
Unknown
509 Likes
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When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"
Unknown
1346 Likes
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You put funny people in funny costumes and paint them green and we could talk about anything we wanted to, because that was the only thing that fascinated Gene about this particular genre.
Majel Barrett
107 Likes
Sometimes, when my underwear matches my outfit, it makes me feel like I really have my life together.
Unknown
281 Likes
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Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
Unknown
170 Likes
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Dear God, my prayer for 2012 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did this year.
Unknown
241 Likes
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Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over. -
Gloria Naylor
18 Likes
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The law of God, as quite plainly expressed in woman's construction, is this: There shall be no limit put upon your intercourse with the other s.. s..ually, at any time of life. During twenty-three days in every month (in the absence of pregnancy) from the time a woman is seven years old till she dies of old age, she is ready for action, and competent. As competent as the candlestick is to receive the candle. Competent every day, competent every night. Also, she wants that candle yearns for it, longs for it, hankers after it, as commanded by the law of God in her heart.
Mark Twain
17 Likes
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It's so funny because I listen to songs that I recorded that I didn't really know anything about at the time. Later on I'm starting to feel the songs. Sing them first, feel them later.
Tanya Tucker
0 Likes
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Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math.
Unknown
115 Likes
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Marriage is a hunting permit that entitles you to only one dear at a time.
Vikrant Parsai
130 Likes
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We've still got a few days until Valentine's Day, so if you're secretly in love with me... Now is the time to speak up.
Unknown
193 Likes
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Graduation is when your summers of unpaid internships finally earn you a full-time unpaid internship.
Unknown
26 Likes
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Friendship Day is the perfect time to not reflect on the friends I've methodically erased from my life.
Unknown
20 Likes
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And at the time, it is funny how you can look at something and say, for example with my shoulder injury, when it first happened I said this is the worst thing that could happen to me. Why me, why now? Now I look back and say it was probably the best thing that happened to me.
Drew Brees
36 Likes
A holiday is when you celebrate something that's all finished up, that happened a long time ago and now there's nothing left to celebrate but the dead.
Unknown
11 Likes
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Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit. That's why you should never date a baseball player.
Marsha Warfield
3 Likes
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Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.
Doug Collins
5 Likes
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It's easy to play any musical instrument: all you have to do is touch the right key at the right time and the instrument will play itself.
Johann Sebastian Bach
14 Likes
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