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Wise Funny Facebook Statu Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Wise Funny Facebook Statu" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I wonder if there will be a day where they were fu..ing sick of making calendars?
Unknown
104 Likes
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The thirst people have because they want a Valentine.
Unknown
256 Likes
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I need breakfast! If I were any more hungry right now, Brad and Angelina would adopt me.
Unknown
176 Likes
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Sometimes I walk through the baby aisle at the grocery store as a reminder to always use a condom.
Unknown
481 Likes
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I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing for decades, how did I manage to f*ck that up?
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434 Likes
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I'm pretty sure I have a defective iphone 5, I keep pressing the home button and I'm still at work.
Unknown
264 Likes
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A wise man once told me, no matter how HOT she is, somebody somewhere is sick of her.
Unknown
307 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
1682 Likes
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I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings and so on, so on, you get it.
Unknown
291 Likes
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That awkward moment when you say 'Hey' to someone on facebook chat, and seconds later they sign out. How Rude.
Unknown
538 Likes
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Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Unknown
1536 Likes
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Liking your own status, is like high-fiving yourself in public...
Unknown
201 Likes
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I don't see why everybody wants a white iPhone. Everyone knows the black one runs faster.
Unknown
575 Likes
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I just saw a fat guy with a shirt that said: I beat anorexia. Defiantly made my day.
Unknown
44 Likes
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Whats the worst thing to do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Unknown
327 Likes
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There is nothing as disgusting as the feeling you get the moment that your finger breaks through the toilet paper.
Unknown
305 Likes
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If you don't have an iPhone I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 Emojis & you can't see none.
Unknown
187 Likes
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Call of Duty: MW3 comes out midnight tonight. I wonder how many relationships are going to end this week.
Unknown
539 Likes
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If you can't afford po.., just turn on women's tennis and shut your eyes...
Unknown
371 Likes
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Absolutely no one can text faster than a pissed off woman.
Unknown
589 Likes
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