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Witches Broom Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Witches Broom Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands.
Unknown
984 Likes
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They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Casey Stengel
0 Likes
The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life.
Seann William Scott
11 Likes
On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bi...es, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new po.. websites, 8 wack statuses, 7 ho.. a slurping, 6 bums a posting, 5 ignorant bastards, 4 corny birds, 3 messages, 2 ugly friends, & a girl who smashed the wholeee team.
Unknown
560 Likes
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When something is truly funny, it's funny all the time.
Cloris Leachman
4 Likes
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Instead of cleaning my house, I just watched an episode of Hoarders. Now I don't feel so bad.
Unknown
98 Likes
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Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right.
Matthew Perry
5 Likes
When people call you photogenic, they're actually trying to tell you that you look uglier than your pics..
Ritu Ghatourey
1439 Likes
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True love is waking up next to your partner and thinking Well, I could smother them with a pillow or make breakfast. Sigh. Pancakes it is.
Unknown
468 Likes
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My New Year's resolution is to never tell you what the person looks like who you kissed on New Year's.
Unknown
27 Likes
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When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny.
Mo Rocca
0 Likes
When you don't have a good signal on your phone and you go all lion king on it.
Unknown
133 Likes
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I love yoga pants. Not only are they comfortable, but they make my butt look great.
Unknown
59 Likes
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When I exercise, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.
Unknown
137 Likes
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s.. is always funny. I don't find it s..y, I find it really horrifying. But it's an act that we need. And that need, that desire, is what makes it really funny.
Elizabeth Banks
2 Likes
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My daughter said she's gonna be a hoe for Halloween. I think it's cute that she likes gardening.
Unknown
234 Likes
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My daughter's really into the Halloween spirit. She's been in her pregnant lady constume for months now.
Unknown
297 Likes
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I've never cooked. I can't do much more in the kitchen than make a cup of tea and some toast.
Ethel Merman
5 Likes
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It's funny how you go through the year day by day but nothing changes, then when you look back, everything's different.
Ritu Ghatourey
205 Likes
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When people ask me plz because it's shorter than please. I tell them no because it's shorter than yes .
Unknown
357 Likes
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