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Funny Hospital Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Hospital Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The government could fix everything that's wrong with the country if they'd simply read my Facebook updates.
Unknown
62 Likes
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Facebook is like a relationship: Faithful on your wall, but cheating in their inbox...
Unknown
1239 Likes
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That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of another car and realize there's someone inside.
Unknown
631 Likes
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I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose.
Unknown
933 Likes
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Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.
Unknown
2419 Likes
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Parent: What did you learn today? Student: Apparently not enough! We have to go back tomorrow!
Unknown
1256 Likes
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Taylor Swift seems like the type of chick that would poke a hole in a condom.
Unknown
340 Likes
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It's been said good things come to those who wait... All I have to say is whatever is coming to me,better be freaking fantastic!
Nishan Panwar
547 Likes
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I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.
Unknown
255 Likes
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Myspace is my ex husband, Facebook is my baby daddy, Twitter is my ho and I'm in a serious relationship with Instagram.
Ambri Bright
402 Likes
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Facebook is that insecure chick that keeps changing her hairstyle &/or color until she finally loses her mind and shaves it & scares everyone.
Unknown
520 Likes
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That awkward moment when you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious.
Unknown
549 Likes
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I'm ready to take our relationship to the level of appearing together in a Facebook profile picture.
Unknown
302 Likes
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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Unknown
2332 Likes
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Sometimes, when my underwear matches my outfit, it makes me feel like I really have my life together.
Unknown
281 Likes
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When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"
Unknown
1346 Likes
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Before someone gets their drivers liscence they should have to beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart without falling off.
Unknown
376 Likes
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Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
Unknown
170 Likes
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My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.
Unknown
509 Likes
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I wonder how some people can keep up with both their Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook...I cant even keep up with the Kardashians.
Unknown
313 Likes
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