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Advice Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Advice Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said My dog's died.'
Tim Vine
18 Likes
Funny quotes
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Go on and make your jokes Mr.... Jokie Joke-maker! -White Goodman
Dodgeball
7 Likes
You can never have a thousand percent batting average on jokes, it's just never going to happen.
Paul Feig
1 Likes
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
Spike Milligan
16 Likes
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Why, Madam, do you know there are upward of thirty yards of bowels squeezed underneath that girdle of your daughter's? Go home and cut it; let Nature have fair play, and you will have no need of my advice.
John Abernethy
1 Likes
Advice quotes
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If you're not ready, he'll wait. If he really cares, he'll always be there. If he misses you, he'll always find time for you. If he loves you, he'll put you first. And if he's the right guy he won't leave.
Avieh Concepcion
66 Likes
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When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.
Helen Rowland
2 Likes
Advice quotes
Be with someone who makes you happy, treats you right, cares for you, loves you and accepts you the way you are. Don't let other's opinions get in the way of what you feel.
Anurag Prakash Ray
28 Likes
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People don't notice the things we do for them, until we stop doing it
Carson Kolhoff
142 Likes
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When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.
Henri Nouwen
11 Likes
Advice quotes
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Hmm. I'm still not very good at algebra...I just can't figure out Y.
Unknown
69 Likes
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What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look, I'm changing!
Tanya Bianco
40 Likes
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
461 Likes
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Foot: A special device for finding furniture in the dark.
Unknown
29 Likes
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I have my life and I will live it. Shut your mouth before I fu.. it Ha, my jokes they will love it.
Kid Cudi
77 Likes
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I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.
Allan Sloan
2 Likes
I can't stand people that don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' Their so stupid...
Unknown
222 Likes
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Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them.
John Lasseter
4 Likes
The fastest way to make your own Anti-freeze is to hide her nightgown.
Unknown
24 Likes
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Want to hear the joke about the vacuum? Nevermind...It sucks.
Unknown
204 Likes
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