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Dangerfield Number One Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Dangerfield Number One" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
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Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
Rodney Dangerfield
0 Likes
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Rodney Dangerfield
5 Likes
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
Rodney Dangerfield
2 Likes
My wife wants s.. in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
Rodney Dangerfield
9 Likes
I will be very specific. Number one, the, this lecture on embassy security...the congressman here cut embassy security in his budget by $300 million below what we asked for, number one. So much for the embassy security piece. Number two, Governor Romney, before he knew the facts, before he even knew that our ambassador was killed, he was out making a political statement which was panned by the media around the world. And this talk about this, this weakness. I, I don't understand what my friend's talking about here.
Joe Biden
0 Likes
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The whole action of the laws tended to increase the number of consumers of food and to diminish the number of producers, was due the invention of the Malthusian theory of population.
Henry Charles Carey
0 Likes
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
Rodney Dangerfield
10 Likes
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Parents quotes
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Rodney Dangerfield
4 Likes
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
47 Likes
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When I was born the doctor took one look at my face .... turned me over and said. Look ... twins!
Rodeny Dangerfield
2 Likes
Love quotes
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
Rodney Dangerfield
2 Likes
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met
Rodney Dangerfield
130 Likes
Funny quotes
The two things that could have been better is number one, to get major military force into the community almost immediately to make sure that there was law and order. Number two, we had enough helicopters to airlift food into the centers of population and those places.
Warren Rudman
2 Likes
These thieves defend themselves by saying, 'I was there all the time, and the officials missed me.' Favorite excuses for missing surveillance checkpoints: jacket covered the number took off the shirt with the number hidden in a crowd.
Joe Henderson
2 Likes
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