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Deadbeat Dad Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Deadbeat Dad Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad
Proverb
18 Likes
Fathers quotes
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Dad, I'll always appreciate you sticking around after mom got fat...
Unknown
13 Likes
Funny quotes
Fathers Day quotes
When I grew up, people said, 'You'll never be the man your dad was.' And I said, 'Gee, I hope not.'
Rip Torn
7 Likes
Dad, thanks for teaching me how to get laid off like a man.
Unknown
9 Likes
Funny quotes
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Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?
Anonymous
67 Likes
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The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up next week.
Spike Milligan
11 Likes
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It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of s.. jokes and gross humour.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
18 Likes
I remember, growing up, if something big, God forbid. happened, the first jokes you heard on the subject came out of Jersey.
Oscar Nunez
3 Likes
Ways to die: steal my food, touch me, look through my phone.
Unknown
145 Likes
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When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
Henry Youngman
19 Likes
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i know you think you broke my heart, but I saw your game right from the start, I knew it well and played it too, so laugh it up the jokes on you.
Katie Johnson
51 Likes
Lost Love quotes
Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
Frank Carson
63 Likes
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis Diller
37 Likes
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A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.
Arnold H Glasgow
8 Likes
Great Friendship quotes
When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying saucers...and plates, pots, mugs...
Robert Paul
43 Likes
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The moment when someone jokes about one of your insecurities and you have to pretend like it didn't bother you.
Unknown
179 Likes
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The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car... Is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
Unknown
478 Likes
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I made a killing in the stock market. My broker lost all my money, so I killed him.
Jim Loy
27 Likes
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I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. And that' s been happening.
Dan Hicks
0 Likes
When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
Seth MacFarlane
2 Likes
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