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Erma Bombeck On Fathers Day Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Erma Bombeck On Fathers Day" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Erma Bombeck
49 Likes
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I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
vThere is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
Erma Bombeck
8 Likes
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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
Erma Bombeck
4 Likes
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
Erma Bombeck
9 Likes
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
Erma Bombeck
7 Likes
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Erma Bombeck
13 Likes
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
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Happy Fathers Day to the Uncles, Step Dads, Grandpas and men that are raising someone else's kid. It takes a real man to do that.
Sonya Parker
171 Likes
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I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
Cosmetics quotes
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
Erma Bombeck
6 Likes
Direction quotes
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
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In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
Skiing: I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill
Erma Bombeck
8 Likes
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Erma Bombeck
10 Likes
Great fathers do what weak fathers don't want to do.
Reed Markham
9 Likes
Fathers Day quotes
You have to love a nation that celebrates its Independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
Erma Bombeck
26 Likes
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